It Must Be Love

Me (11:07): http://selleckwaterfallsandwich.tumblr.com
Me (11:07): i have NO IDEA why i find this cool
Me (11:07): but i do
Karen (11:08): hahahaha
Karen (11:11): ok, this is brilliant
Me (11:11): i know!
Me (11:11): but WHY?!
Karen (11:12): 1. Tom Selleck
Karen (11:12): 2. Waterfalls
Karen (11:12): 3. Delicious Sandwiches
Me (11:12): it's all so clear now
Me (11:12): how could i have missed it?
Karen (11:13): no idea

Lest We Lose Sight

Last year on this day, the United States of America celebrated a highly momentous occasion--a day that, regardless of how you feel about the year that has transpired since, ushered in a new and progressive era for our great nation.

Unfortunately, while our attention was fixated (perhaps rightfully so) on the inauguration of our first black President, we lost sight of another incredibly important occasion. An annual festival that, like last year's inauguration, is about black and white, but also about so much more.

This year, it may be easy to slip into the routine again. To be divisive and disagree over progress or a lack thereof. But let's not lose sight of those we overlooked one year ago.

I encourage you all, my dear readers, to take time to celebrate today and give credit to those things that we tend to look at adoringly all winter long but never quite give their proper due.

With that in mind, let me be what I hope is one of many to wish you all a very joyous, safe, and happy National Penguin Awareness Day.

And if you see Danny DeVito today, give him a hug. Old penguins need love too.

Driven to the Edge

(If you're expecting a New Year's Resolution-related post, you are barking up the wrong tree.)

I understand that the holiday rush, despite its best intentions, can tend to bring out the worst in people. Between the stress, pressure, and impatience, it's sometimes hard to find that holiday cheer that we all so desperately crave at the turn of the year.

But despite that understanding, there is one holiday phenomenon that I simply cannot explain: the proliferation of insanely shitty drivers.

My major beefs boil down to three specific driving types, all of whom I have encountered already today:

• 1) The Drifters -- The drivers in small neighborhoods and side roads who decide that, because there's no double yellow line and no other drivers on that particular road, they can simply drive right down the middle. Which is all fine and dandy, until another driver comes up from the opposite direction. Inevitably, no matter how long or straight the road, the Drifter will not see you coming until the last second, at which point they will veer sharply to their right. Inevitably, a look of contorted rage--how dare you take your fair share of the road!--will be visible on their faces as you pass by.
  
  
• 2) The Highway Robbers -- Most commonly found on multi-lane roads, but you will occasionally find them in neighborhoods too. These are the folks who are pulling onto a highway, either from an on-ramp or a store parking lot, and simply can't resist coming over, even if the timing is inopportune. As if that wasn't bad enough, they will often proceed to drive at a rate far below the speed limit--after all, it is the slow lane, isn't it?--and force you to accelerate past them angrily. And the worst part? They are often so oblivious to their own inability to find the gas pedal that, should you look over to shoot them an angry look as you careen past, they are often found blissfully staring straight ahead, often singing along with some tune on their radio.
  
  
• 3) The Routiners -- We are all guilty of this from time to time. There are certain parts of our drives, such as the first turn or two out of our driveways, that feel like routines. We know the traffic, we know the situations, we can do them with our eyes shut. The problem is, the Routiners, I suspect, actually do perform these parts of the drive with their eyes shut, because whenever a glitch in the pattern appears--say, for instance, someone looking to make a left into the street that you yourself are looking to make a left onto--they do not sway from their expectations, acting as if you weren't there and nearly causing a catastrophic and insanely silly accident.

Dishonorable mention goes to those drivers who, out of some twisted sense of altruism, forgo their right of way, especially on main thoroughfares, to let someone from a side road turn onto their street. Your courtesy was doubtlessly appreciated by the person turning, but not so much by the few cars behind you that had to slam on their brakes to avoid a multi-car pile up.

Want to be really altruistic? If you're one of these drivers, park your car in your driveway and leave it there.