Anything But Boring

One of the fun things about living alone is that, when the time comes to load up on food and beverage, you don't have to ask anyone's permission before whipping out the greenbacks. Hypothetically, you can buy whatever your little heart (or larger stomach) desires, and there's not a damn thing anyone else can do about it.

Unfortunately, my recent solitariness was an unforced decision, so while I've enjoyed the ability to buy my foodstuffs at will, I've also noticed during my treks to the fridge that there are plenty of previous purchases remaining from the days when Karen was here.

Now, I have a thing about wasting food. (I know what you're thinking, and yes, I genuinely do believe that's a big part of the reason why I look the way I do, but stay with me here, okay?) It goes back to many, many years ago, when I lost my appetite one night at dinner and got a mighty parental guilt trip for wanting to throw away three-quarters of an uneaten hot dog. Since then, my plates have almost always been spotless, because I just can't bear to be wasteful.

So when I looked in the fridge and saw several perishable items that were approaching their date of perishing, I felt an obligation to send them to my gullet as opposed to the garbage.

One such item was a bottle of Simply Limeade (which, if you haven't had it, is delicious). Karen and I had acquired it for use in making margaritas, but the tequila was gone and, since I'm not much of a tequila guy anyway, I wasn't inclined to get more. But I am a vodka man, the one connection to my Polish ancestry that my ancestors must actually be proud of, so upon discovering the remaining limeade, I retreated to the Internet to discover what drinks could be made with vodka and lime juice.

Turns out there's a drink made from just those two ingredients: the gimlet.

I made my first one last night, true to the proportions I'd found in all the recipes I saw online: four parts vodka to one part sweetened lime juice.

I'll say that again, so that it sinks in: four parts vodka, to one part lime juice.

I made a single gimlet in a glass that couldn't possibly hold more than 12 ounces, and I didn't even fill the glass. And let me tell you, my friends, I wasn't a third of the way through it and I was feeling it like I couldn't believe. The thing was an absolute powerhouse. And the best part? The limeade was so sweet that it didn't even taste too liquor-ish. What a deadly concoction!

So tonight, I tried to temper things a bit by mixing one that was a bit gentler: this time, equal parts vodka and limeade. And guess what? Halfway through, the stuff still gave me a feeling of noticeable impairment. (Intoxication is probably a bit too strong a word.) I was stunned. How did the gimlet do it!

I've yet to figure out an answer to it, but I can't tell you how excited I have found something that can balance my old standby, the screwdriver.

But if you'll excuse me, I need to go run to the store now to grab some more fixins. And more limeade.