Quality Quote Clearinghouse #1

The postmodern world is occasionally not a horrible thing. When one lacks easy access to pen and paper, for instance, one can whip out their cell phone and type out the ridiculous line they just heard, so as to remember it for posterity.

The problem is, when I reach a certain number of "drafts" in my Message menu, I get a little weirded out. They're just sitting there, waiting to be shared, but mostly going untouched. And their number, like bunnies, is multiplying. This must end.

I've thrown a few quotes up on my Twitter lately, but I need to clear out my phone and my brain and put a few beauties up here. Credit given where I can, though some may hate me for attributing it to them. (That's the risk you take saying silly things around me. Deal.)

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"There's no mistaking for the lush feel of a vagina."
-Karen, regarding drunken gentlemen who fuck couches when they're trying to fuck women
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"It's not that bad. I had pants on!"
-Alicia (like that attribution really shocks anyone)
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"Prepare to suck the cock of karma!"
-Kung Fu dude from Pineapple Express (included for being the only line in the movie that actually made me laugh out loud)
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"I literally just LOLed. And then I ROFLcoptered a little. It was awkward."
-Darrell, in response to what I thought was a rather clever text message of mine
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"Loose slots? We've got 'em!"
-a billboard for an Indiana casino
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"I don't know how to write phonetically. I didn't take that class."
-an anonymous Penn State senior, lamenting her inexperience at writing her name down so that the people at graduation would pronounce it correctly
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Can't make this shit up, folks. And if my life is any indication, this won't be the last time I do something like this. Hope you LOLed a little. Just watch out for those low-flying ROFLcopters.