Welcome to God's Country, Pop. Ignorant Assholes

Despite my general hatred for most things Pennsylvania, I've actually been an outspoken advocate for the city of Pittsburgh. In my three visits there, I've made a few trips to Kennywood (which is one of my favorite parks), taken in a baseball game at PNC Park (which is a surprisingly gorgeous park for such a subpar team), and enjoyed some of the fine waterfront dining establishments that the city offers. Sure, it may strike some as "dirty," but most cities are, and the idiosyncrasies of the place, in my mind, add to its charm.

The problem from my standpoint is that, from State College, the easiest way to get to Pittsburgh is via Rt. 22, a four-lane highway that treks alternately through mountainous beauty and spots of civilization (typically marked out by Walmarts and McDonald's, unsurprisingly). Once you get past the hideous fog at its start near Hollidaysburg, the drive is actually quite nice. But there are landmarks along the way that one wishes one could unsee.

No, I'm not talking about the super-sketchy 1940s "pool and lounge" that looks like it's been abandoned for decades. Or the Tattoo Barn. Or Climax, which is (I shit you not) the world's only drive-thru strip club -- rather ironically located in a town called Congruity. (Why oh why are there not more of these?)

I'm referring to a set of billboards, one of top of the other, that are about the most ignorant and incomprehensible things I've ever seen in my short, cynical life.

On top, we have plain text against a green background. Nothing striking, except its argument: "Global warming is all about money and politics -- NOT science!"

Okay, fair enough. It's funny because it's trying so hard to be politically charged, all while offering nothing of substance except bile. And given its location in central-western Pennsylvania, it's easy to associate it with the stereotypically bumblefuck atmosphere.

But juxtaposed with this stupidity, directly underneath, is a billboard that manages to trump it in every way imaginable.

The text: "Abortion is this generation's HOLOCAUST!" The image: a grey background atop, with a graveyard of crosses below, most adorned with Stars of David atop them.

Just ask Alicia how enraged I was to see these things. While it's impossible to recreate the instinctive and genuine ire these billboards arose in me, one comment was rather worth repeating: "Are we still in the United States of America? How does this happen?"

Granted, I shouldn't be surprised that things of this nature would appear in a place notoriously known for inflammatory religiosity and intellectual backwardness. But it sure does explain a lot. Like why next time I head for the Steel City, I think I'll stick to the interstate.