Holy Crap, It Worked!

Back in my Princeton days, whenever I thought I was the laziest, most unmotivated student in the joint, there was always one person I could count on to make me feel procrastinatorily inferior.

His fervent refusal to make headway on perhaps the most quintessentially Princetonian of all assignments was so legendary, in fact, that I created a Facebook group to celebrate his effort at effortlessness.

It was called, "I Am More Concerned about Ruben Pope's Thesis Progress Than Ruben Pope Is."

It was so beautifully conceived and masterfully executed that, recently, Ruben texted me. His friend had seen the group and told him, and I quote, "Your buddy should send that Facebook group description to the Hall of Fame for Satire. I'm inviting my friends to join it."

I was excited that the group was to gain additional exposure, but, as has always been the case, I wished that it would have resulted in the paper's successful completion. That was the whole idea of the group in the first place and, like all good satires, this one was aimed not for the cheap laugh but for the betterment of society.

Today, I received a missive that led me to believe I needed to check the records of the Mudd Library. And sure enough, when I did, my heart skipped a beat.

Do you believe in miracles? He actually did it!

I'm speechless. And sad, since the finest satire I've ever created has now served its usefulness. But really, I'm glad I, and twelve others, don't have to be concerned anymore.