If He Only Knew!

My professor just made my day.

Reinforcing the notion that I'm the worst student ever, I failed -- despite having all day yesterday with no other responsibilities -- to successfully read one article and write a two-page critique of that article before going to bed last night. What I did do was read the first two sections of the article, write a crappy six-line introduction, and begin typing up a short list of quotes that I planned to examine.

This morning, I almost reset my alarm for an hour later before remembering, Oh shit, I still need to finish my critique. So up I was at 7:00am, out of the shower by 7:15am, and sitting in front of my laptop ready to roll at 7:20am.

And with my ride due to pick me up at 8:20am, what did I do with my hour? Why, watch SportsCenter, of course!

During the shittier highlights (Who gives a fuck about basketball anyway? Not this guy!) I managed to successfully read the remainder of the article and take down some more quotes, but I was still about a page-and-a-half and a lot of elucidation and coherence short of a true critique. With this, I went to class.

I then proceeded to select an advantageous seat (far from the professor) and turn my quotes and thoughts into a cogent response. It ended up two-and-a-half pages, and was surprisingly not as crappy as I'd anticipated it would be.

At break, I sent it to the office printer, produced a paper copy, and submitted it to my professor. Success!

But here's where it got really good. Because no sooner do I return to class than does my professor announce that I have "reminded" him that the critiques are due, and that everyone should hand them in.

Because I'm "the model student" of the class. And, given my excessive sense of "responsibility," the "goody-two-shoes" of the group.

Procrastination FTW!

Yeah baby, I still got it.